Different Types Of Beauty And Mid Life Dating

If, like me, you are back in the dating game again in midlife after a long marriage, you may be wondering how your beauty and dating mix at this stage of your life.  Do you remember the song by Annie Lennox “Keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved”?  I bet you think that it is not so funny anymore.  You probably also have noticed that the girls in the magazines seem to be getting skinnier and skinnier by the year while you probably are getting wider and wider each year.beautiful middle aged woman

Well, there is good news and bad news.  Psychologists have established 4 types of beauty and 2 types of beauty stay with us through our whole lives. So if you had those two types beauty back then when you last dated you still will have them now.  One other type of beauty changes over time so you may have more of it or less of it now then last time you dated.  The last type of beauty you definitely have lost; youth or in scientific terms “sexual beauty”.  You will notice that you have lost this type of beauty the most  when you see men your own age with desired dating ranges down to 35 and you will think “How can I compete with a 35 year old?”.

Different types of beauty and how they apply to mid life dating for women

1. Sexual beauty

This is the bad news type of beauty for middle aged daters. It is the one that starts at puberty and peaks at age 23 when you are the most fertile.  It pretty much goes away by the time you are 36.  Being programmed to respond to this type of beauty, both men and women, is natures way of ensuring a healthy baby…look at it that way.

2. Fashion beauty

This is the type of beauty most people seem focused on; especially the weight change industry. Many feminists, myself included, feel this type of beauty should not exist. They feel that it is very damaging to the psyche of women in general.  In America the current fashion beauty is to be lanky, tall and blonde. If you are living in Estonia, where most women are lanky, tall and blonde, you would not be in fashion if you looked like Barbie. The Estonian women dye their hair brown to be in fashion there. Same in Africa…Barbie is not the standard of beauty. So fashion beauty changes from place to place, but it also changes over time.

In the US it was fashionable to be stocky in the 1880s and the weight change industry shamed skinny women and told them they were ugly to their men and unhealthy (sound familiar?).  Over time short and medium boned women came to be in fashion in the early 1920s to 60s. Then in the 60s, thin was in and the fashion for beauty is getting thinner and thinner by the day. At some point it will swing the other way since it will have no where else to go, but in my opinion, it would be best to get rid of this type of beauty altogether along with the lies that the weight change industry feeds you 24/7: that you can control now thin or thick you are.

So if you were too skinny as a kid, you might just be in fashion now. My stepmother is this way, but she still has trouble accepting that she is not ugly because of her size (so sad).  If you were medium boned and considered pretty way back when, you may be out of luck now.

Many men seem influenced by fashion beauty, according to my observations of what they write on dating sites.I think that they see having a woman who is fashionably beautiful (Barbie-like) as a status symbol.  My father tells of his grandfather who was proud of his big stocky fashionable wife back in the early 1900s, so I guess this aspect of men probably will not change.

 3. Universal Beauty

This type of beauty is related to even features. This type of beauty hangs on through mid life.  If you had this when you were young you will still have it now.

4. Individual beauty

This falls into the category of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.  Most people have  a type they are attracted to. If you ask them why, most can not explain it. I know I like men of a certain hair color, stockiness and height. Why? I have no idea. Maybe the first boy I fell for in grade school looked like that. It certainly is not someone who looks like my father or even the opposite of that. I really have no idea.  This type of course will be with you all throughout life. You just need to find someone your type who likes your type. That is a lot easier to do with online dating.


So if you are middle aged and dating, know that even though you may feel the sting of loss of sexual beauty, you still have other types of beauty.








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