Craigslist Dating Review For Women

I’m doing this Craigslist dating review after using it for 4 years to find a male partner in midlife.  During that time I have been on and off of the Craigslist personals section; mostly off. Sigh. What can I say about Craigslist?  It really is not that much different than other dating sites other than that you interact with people a LOT more and a LOT faster with no referee to keep you from the rant section trolls.

Craigslist Dating Review: The Dark Side:


1. Trolls: To me the worst side of Craigslist is that there are some very mean, immature, ignorant, and/ore sociopathic, closed minded trolls who live on the site; at least in my town.  I think they get attracted to the Rants and Raves section of the Personals and then when they realize no one is reading their absurd litanies they go over to other sections.

A troll is someone who likes to use the web to try and anonymously hurt people to make themselves feel better; most likely these people have mild to severe cases of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Immature Personality Disorder or are sociopaths even; i.e. they lack the empathy part of their brain that most people have (in theory).  They are like road rage drivers. You just have to accept they exist, try not to get hurt by them and stay out of their way.  I have had trolls on Craigslist send me nasty emails when I put up an ad for my rental!  How controversial is a rental?

Trolls love to send emails to any woman looking for dates on the site whether it be in the relationship section or the casual dating section (yes I have been on that part of Craigslist when I just got separated but am out of there for good now).

Absolutely Free Dating Site

trolls the bad side of Craigslist dating

 


I know that the trolls bug lots of women who post ads on the Craigslist relationship section because I can read women’s ads and see the defensive words they put on there. For example, one troll wrote to a woman who asked for a high IQ man. Another wrote to one who reposted her ad too many times in his opinion. Another to a woman saying she was a liberal.

To me the trolls usually write about my dating body type description...that it is not narrow enough. I mix it up and put no description or put my lean weight and body fat percent, or put stocky, curvy or BBW.  No matter what I put they write to me that I am disgusting or need to exercise (which I already do on a daily basis). I had one guy say that he was only looking for women in the 95th%ile for  narrowest size of BMI for middle aged women and was demanding I be that in order to write to him. Oh and that I be an 8 out of 10 for looks.  This is a man who had a BMI of 26 which would make him a BBW if he was a woman. He also told me he had no car!

And then men complain that there are no women on Craigslist!  Gee I wonder why?


Because of trolls it is best not to post your picture.  They will still probably write mean things to you and you can either delete their emails, argue back or say “You need to stop sending messages like this, they are very hurtful”.  I like the last one on occasion because it is possible these people have no idea they are being hurtful due to a brain defect and I may be stopping them from hurting someone else.

Not sure if there are female trolls on craigslist but there are certainly women who put mean things in their ads like they only want men with a penis size in the 95th largest percentile or something like that. I guess that is like putting you only want women of a certain low frequency, narrow body size; both genders have their Achilles heel.

Average penis length and frequency percent from Wikipedia

Average penis length and frequency percent from Wikipedia

 

Average Penis Circumference and Distribution Percent from Wikipedia

Average Penis Circumference and Distribution Percent from Wikipedia

Like I said there is no referee there and that goes for hate speech, nudity and language.

Not that no one has said anything mean to me on other dating sites. I have had bad experiences on both paid and unpaid sites.  There is a referee for “someone sent me a mean email” on most dating sites. But there is a near guarantee that someone will say something mean to you if you leave your post up long on Craigslist if you are a woman, at least in my town.

I have also had what I think are prostitutes and the police write to me to get off the site. One because they felt it was dangerous and one because they thought I was competing.

2. Not serious.  There are a lot of non-serious daters on any dating site, but Craigslist probably has the most.  People see Craigslist personals as free entertainment; and I don’t blame them.  I get a kick out of reading the posts and seeing the often x-rated photos.  But if you are really looking for a relationship then Craigslist can be a big time waster to weed out the non-serious. That is why I call it the “thrift store of dating”; you have to look for a bargain.

3. Time consuming. You need to do a lot more work on Craigslist than on other dating sites. For example, mailing your picture to everyone who writes and asking them for one back; asking all the important questions like “are you married”, “do you live in my town” or “how old are you” that people forget to mention in their ads or emails that are  automatically provided on all other sites. I guess you get what you pay for.

4. Spam There are spammers and scammers on every dating site, but Craigslist seems to have the most, especially for the men. And men don’t trust that real women are actually real.  This makes it even more time consuming to communicate with people. Think of something unique about your town that only locals know to reassure men. Many people use the current weather but spammers can look that up online too. Some other ideas are to talk about some unique nick name for the town, some current political event, a local historical fact not well known, a local only store, or post a photo you took of a local landmark.

5. Anthony Weinerville. For some reason men on Craigslist feel way more free to send junk shots then on other dating sites. Not that I haven’t gotten Peter photos on other sites but they are very common on Craigslist.  I usually put “Send me a face photo” on my ad, but that does not guarantee I won’t get the Full Monty.

Craigslist Dating Review:The Good Side:

1. Interaction. Let’s face it, most of the paid and unpaid dating sites there is not a lot of interaction between members other than looking at each others photos and reading their profiles; especially for middle aged daters.  Maybe if you are super fabulous looking, the correct size and shape for your gender, average in other aspects, wealthy (if you are a man), in a huge city and/or super interesting you may not know what I am talking about, but for the rest of us peons there is not much happening on a paid or unpaid dating site on a given day.

On Craigslist, somehow the want ad format transforms men into socially brave individuals.  I get about 100 to 500 times more interactions on Craigslist per week than I do on a regular dating site on a given day.  Granted you can only post once a week and then have to wait 7 days unless you are willing to craft a totally different ad and break their terms of service. But otherwise you need to wait for your ad to expire and most of the action is from the top ads on the list.  That is fine though because you will be tired from all the emails…if you are a woman anyways. If you are a man…probably will get one or two emails from real people if you are lucky.

2. Male to Female ratio. There are probably 10 times as many men on Craigslist as women. So if you are a woman that is great. If you are a man, head on over to eHarmony where the tables are turned.

3. Nice guys and girls Yes, despite the stereo type, there are actually some very nice people that use the site; just as nice as ones who use a credit card to pay for a paid site or take the time to fill out a profile on a free site, like POF or OKCupid.

4. More Dates If you are a woman you can get more dates per month from Craigslist than from other sites. I am not the only one with this experience. There is a dating coach in my town who gives classes on online dating and recommends Craigslist as number one for getting dates for middle aged women. So far half the dates I have been on were from this site. And I can’t say the quality of men was any different than from any other dating site I have tried, and I have tried over 10 paid and unpaid sites so far (Research!! :)).

So if you have a thick skin, are a woman want an absolutely free dating site to use and are ready to get some middle aged dates then I recommend posting an ad on Craigslist today.

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