Odds Of Getting Remarried After Divorce: Middle Aged Women

I suffer from mild anxiety, including panic attacks and claustrophobia. Because of this I went to therapy to get some mental strategies to combat the problem a few years before my marriage separation. One of the techniques I learned to calm myself was to find out what the odds of something I worried about happening were. This technique takes you out of your mid-brain, emotional thinking, and gets you into your higher brain, logical thinking, and calms you down.

When I first got separated, one of my top anxieties was that I would end up alone and single for the rest of my days. This was probably in large part because I related to my mother who never re-partnered for the 28 years she was single after she split with my father.  I decided to do some research on the odds of getting remarried after divorce to help calm myself down a bit.

The book “He’s History, You’re Not”   said that the odds were that most divorced women over 40 get remarried within 2 to 4 years (most studies count remarriage time from separation day onwards so she probably subtracted one year for separation to divorce).  My online research showed this chart from a CDC paper on marriage:


So roughly the odds are 8% per year which makes sense if you assume that the odds of finding someone compatible are fairly random and that different people get ready for re-marriage at different rates.

More specific facts about the odds of getting remarried after divorce

I can only conclude that the odds are pretty high although this chart does not breakdown time to remarry by age. Since I am middle aged it may not apply because most divorces happen after one year of marriage when women are still very young.

I dove a little deeper today online to find out more about the odds of getting remarried after divorce and found this paper published by Princeton on rebound remarriage. Here are some more facts about my situation:

  • Parental divorce decreases remarriage
  • Older divorcées have lower remarriage rates
  • Children decrease the likelihood of remarriage
  • education does not appear to be related to women’s remarriage rates

Of course once remarried it doesn’t mean you will stay remarried. The odds quoted at my divorce support group were that second marriages have a 60% failure rate and third marriages a 75% failure rate.  My thoughts on that is that there are some people that are either biologically or emotionally unable to form relationships but can’t admit it so just keep trying.

some facts about remarriage relating to me from the Princeton paper:

  • educated women report lower divorce rates in second marriages
  • children increase divorce in second marriages
  • older divorces have lower rates of failed second marriages

What does that mean for me as a middle aged mother of a teen, who is educated and has divorced parents?  I think the odds are pretty good I will get remarried and stay remarried but certainly not 100%. This makes me feel better and less of a failure that I have not met anyone even close to husband material so far since I have only been separated a year. I probably need to get divorced first though as bigamy is still illegal.

I will write more later about the odds of finding a person for you based on how picky you are and the number of people in your dating pool that will shed more light on the subject.


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4 Responses to “Odds Of Getting Remarried After Divorce: Middle Aged Women

  • Laura
    5 years ago

    This is a great little bit of info. Like you I suffer from some mild anxiety issues, and looking at information from a pragmatic, data-driven (wow! does that sound clinical!!!) helps me calm myself down. Thanks for sharing this!

  • I hope you researched this well. I believe the results of ‘Odds of Getting Remarried’ Later In Life are skewed because now you have spouses dying versus getting a divorce. Divorce is expensive so individuals who are older may instead of divorcing will separate.

  • Aging Boomer
    2 years ago

    I agree it is different in later life. In fact I think I said that in the article. I did pretty good research I think. There is not too much out there that I could find.

  • Good information to know! Now just factor in being picky,not being able to make a connection with most people,Lack of descent men to marry that arent already married, and the fact that I may never recover from the mentally abusive marriage I got out of. Im assuming my odds are slim to none! Lol